"JUST THINK"
By: Christian Moore, L.C.S.W., M.S.W.
Co Founder & CEO of Why Try Inc.

There are two words that most people with learning differences hate to hear and would probably never say to another person. The two simple words are "Just Think." The first time that I remember hearing those two dreaded words, "Just Think" was in the first grade while learning addition. Even now, twenty years later, I vividly remember the teacher leaning over my shoulder and saying, "just pay attention… two plus two equals what? It's right in front of you. If one plus one equals two then what would two plus two equal? Then she would repeat the dreaded words… Just Think… if two plus one equals three then what would two plus two equal?… Think about it?"

As I sat there looking at the paper I was thinking to myself, "what in the heck do (2) twos have to do with a four, and when is this teacher going to walk away from my desk and when is she going to stop tapping her long red fingernails on the number four. I'm starting to wonder if the answer is in her fingernails, because "Just Thinking" is not helping me get the answer and as soon as she walks away everyone will stop smiling at me and looking at me like I am an alien because I don't see how a two and another two magically create a four.

Later I find myself in a special spelling class and instead of having the teacher standing over my shoulder for a few minutes with thirty other kids in the class. I'm in a room with just me and another teacher who can stand over my shoulder for one hour and help me spell my name, because I've just been informed I'm special because I am the only kid in the third grade that can't spell his name. The next thing I know the two dreaded words jump up and bite me "Just Think", "Sound it out", write a "C" ten times, then an "H" ten times, then an "R" ten times, then an "I" ten times, etc.… "Just Think, you can do it." I'm asking myself what do ten C's have to do with my name being Christian and what in the world does the C sound \"kä"\ have to do with my name being Christian?

Third grade is my first memory of being around several other kids like myself that "Just Needed to Think." There were about 5 of us and we sat at the back of the room at a table. All the other kids in the class had individual desks, because I guess they knew how to "Just Think". I also noticed that we had different math and reading books than everyone else because ours were soft bound and we could write in them and the students who could "Just Think" had hard-bound books.

Looking back, I think me and the other non-thinking friends sat at the back of the class 5 or 6 feet away from everyone else with our so called dumb bell books because we talked a lot, and shouted out the wrong answers that were funny and made all the kids (who could think) laugh. When we did this I started noticing that the kids (who could think) thought we were cool and funny because we weren't afraid to talk, laugh, or hit each other while the teacher was explaining something in what seemed to be a language that the "Just Think" kids could only understand.

My next recollection of the magic words "Just Think" was in the 7th grade. One of my biggest fears during this time of my life was someone asking me the simple question, "What time is it?" The teacher would tell me to "Just Think" as she tried to explain to me that a quarter to five means "fifteen" minutes to five, when to me and my "non-thinking" self a quarter to me equaled "twenty five". Although the embarrassment of being in the 7th grade and not being able to tell time was frustrating, my motivation to "Just Think" and learn how to read a clock was very little because I had many techniques on getting out of the pressure of telling time. The following were my top excuses when asked what time it was.

1. I don't have a watch
2. I can't see that small hand on the clock
3. Sorry I'm in a rush
4. "Can you ask him, I'm busy"
5. I would act like I didn't hear the question
6. Ask them back, "what time do you think it is?"
7. I'd say "It's time for you to get a watch"
8. "You can see the clock just as good as I can"
9. The time is almost anything at the top of the hour or 30 after

When you are in your teenage years and you are struggling with telling time, you soon start to have a lot of self doubt about your future and how can you be successful and make a living, when doing something as simple as running a cash register at McDonald's seems impossible and terrifying. Chances are the McDonalds manager won't tell you to "Just Think" but to come back when you have some basic math skills.

The feelings of fear and frustration in school makes school as fun as going to the dentist every day, only there is nothing to numb the pain except acting out enough to divert the attention away from the real issue of not being able to process information in a way that will bring you positive feedback, respect, and a passing grade. The best way I can explain the feeling that is in your gut during eight hours of classes is to imagine a time when you were with a group of people and a joke was told and everyone was laughing, but you don't get it and the person who is telling the joke realizes you don't get it and says to you, "Just Think" and quickly tells it to you again and says "Just Think" don't you get it? That experience of feeling left out is often with me now still! Now that I am older, I can keep it hidden from you better, but inside I am often repeating to myself the words I heard all the way through school, "Just Think . . ."

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